Musings..

I feel like a paradox, torn between what i want and what i need, crave. I wanted to be something big, to reach a height where no one would dare to ignore nor scoff at me but all my heart ever have needed were the simple things, love, contentness, peace and joy at even the trivial moment , and those little things that awes me, filling me with wonder so profound that i stand there looking out at the world waiting for the breeze to lift me up from the ground with the curve of a smile at my lips, my heart filling with a warmth so elusive and ephemeral that it halts the world for a moment.…

I stop to stare at the golden sunlight seeping through the leaves, lighting up the world in a stunning gold. I wait to hear the eagles calling from a height i could never reach yet it fills me with happiness. I still at the sound of the night birds calling out at the velvety silence of the pearly black night. Yet with all this i am lost between what i want and what i crave. It is a dull ache in me that scrapes at my heart every now and then that makes me crave for more. I have strived my whole life for something that i can't even understand but long for it till my heart bleeds.