How To Argue Like A Politician

Version 1

Step right up, it's time to debate!

No need for facts- just exaggerate.

Talk in circles, dodge, deglet,

never answer- just redirect!

If they press you, wear a grin,

change the subject- you still win!

Blame the other side, of course,

then pretend to show remorse.

Speak in riddles, twist the plot,

say a lot- but really not.

If they prove you're wrong, don't despair,

just say, "Fake news!" and wave the air.

And when in doubt, just raise your voice,

make empty promises- greatest choice!

Then shake some hands, flash a smile,

and disappear for a long, long while.

Version 2

Step right up, let’s start the show,

I’ll teach you tricks all pros should know!

Debate with style, with flair, with grace—

Just never let them pin your case.

First, dodge the question—swerve, deflect!

Answer with something they won’t expect.

If they ask why, you say who knows?

If they push back, you strike a pose.

Next, talk in circles—long, profound,

Say so much that they’ll drown in sound.

Use big words, throw in some fluff,

Make them feel they’ve heard enough.

Then point your fingers—Look at them!

Blame a stranger, blame a friend.

Blame the past or fate or weather,

Just never let them think you’re clever.

And when you’re cornered, take a stand—

Bang the table! Wave your hand!

Call them names, make a fuss,

And claim they’re the ones who don’t trust us!

At last, declare The People win!

Then shake some hands, flash a grin.

The secret trick? Here’s the key—

Just never let them question thee!