Backslide

You never really know when it's the last time for anything.

The last kiss, holding you close.

Telling you about the trees talking, and wanting to touch the stars.

To whisper your name in the middle of the night, telling you abour nonsense that I couldn't wait to share.

The last holiday, learning to play the spoons and driving toy cars through the purple carpet.

The last dance.

The last trip to the beach, faceplanting into the ocean.

I lost my colors. Lost my lucky penny. I lost the things that would've come with time.

There's no more light.

It's then about the frozen present.

Clothes half folded, unfinished puzzles too.

Presents that were saved for a future encounter, now waiting in drawers for nothing.

Streaks that are unsure to be continued.

Concert tickets that will sing to an empty seat.

Places that still go through their own time, unaware of future dates that will not come.

Pictures that smile to things that do not exist anymore.

There's no more Christmas in July. Independence day in February.

No more four walls that belong to an Us.

No more nightrogen.

We never got the desert and the stars and the cherry trees and a safer scene.

I keep freefalling onto my own feet, lead shoes pulling me down.

Everything crumbles. I ghost away.

The sheet goes over my head.

I tried to stay present way too late.

~I should've loved you better.~