Going Under: Valley of the Shadow of Death

February 10, National Umbrella Day, is coming up. Hoisting barriers to water and against ultraviolet radiation has proved convenient for about 5,000 years.

But to mix a bad pun with the gravitas of metaphor, there's a darker, shadowy side to these accouterments. After all, they block the light, and blocking light is a powerful metaphor, too.

We seek clarity. We observe with acuity. We need light for both. We even seek "the light," as portrayed in our death mythos.

Consider when Mrs. Rittiner was prepped and draped for her laparoscopic surgery. Anesthetized without incident, the anesthesiolgist confirmed the successful induction of her controlled coma, and Dr. Stolier began.

The trocar was inserted at her navel and her abdomen inflated with gas for visibility. Unfortunately, a vagal response slowed her heart rate, which--tragically--came to a stop.

Both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist, well trained, were no strangers to complications. The anesthesiologist pushed cardiostimulatory drugs through her IV while Dr. Stolier began cardiac compressions. Over the brief time of observation during these maneuvers, the doctors awaited a favorable response.

It was not immediately forthcoming.

Yet, Mrs. Rittiner survived. The surgery was aborted and the resuscitation ultimately succeeded. Weeks later, Dr. Stolier saw Mrs. Rittiner in his office to reschedule her surgery.

"Y'know, Mrs. Rittiner, you were technically dead for about ten minutes there."

"I heard that, Doc. I wanna thank you for saving my life."

"Well, it really wasn't a heart attack or anything like that. Just a vagal response that bottomed out."

"My heart stopped, right?"

"Yes."

"Dead's dead."

"I suppose so," Dr. Stolier agreed. Then he asked, "Tell me, I'm just curious, you understand. Did you see a light. Y'know, like they say."

"I didn't see shit!" she fired back.

"Oh, my."

What arises now is a dichotomy of faith:

Is there truly nothing after this life, a secret Mrs. Rittiner was privileged to learn? Or, alternatively, should Mrs. Rittiner re-examine her doomed, wayward life and strive to re-ingratiate herself in the eyes of God?

Seeking shadows is a seductive umbrella: protection--from the elements and from very dark clouds alike: you can't see them, but they can't see you. Or, alternatively, it's just a way to stay dry.