Vicariously

Vicariously

January 22, 2025

I am a 19 year old with no life of my own. I graduated high school and took a position as a waitress in a local pub off of the highway. I work for peanuts and tips. I smile at people who deserve nothing from me. They are drunk, rude, hands-on, and (usually) married.

I deserve better.

One day, hours before my shift was to begin, I discovered my grandmother’s diary tucked in my mother’s bookshelf. I have never been much of a reader, so finding the diary so late in my life was not unexpected. I had time to peruse the contents, alone, without a single distraction.

I wish I had years ago.

My grandmother, who was young and vibrant decades ago, kept this diary not for herself, but for my mother. It details how to enjoy life, how to maximize all you can from it, and how to get what you want.

It looks like my mother read only the first two pages, thus the trailer I find myself in today.

I called off sick and read the book in its entirety by 7am the next day.

Needless to say, I am now packed and on a bus to LA.

Five years later, I am packed and on a plane to NYC.

I am on my grandmother’s timeline for success. I have avoided the pitfalls and pratfalls of debilitating actions. I have no strikes against me. I have no man hanging on (or the reverse). I am self-guided and self-motivated.

Chapter 3 of the diary covers when to say, “NO” and when to mean it when you say it. It is as if my grandmother is guiding me “laissez faire” style through the trials and tribulations of business and personal decision making. So far, I am batting a 1000. Tonight, I will meet with investors about a new real estate development just outside of the city. Tomorrow morning, I will shoot a commercial for a cosmetic company whose products I adore. I need not worry about any conflicts of interests (diary, chapter 6) or tax consequences (diary, chapter 4).

I am living in high cotton and enjoying the ride.

However, even this ride will eventually end (diary, chapter 10). I intend to cash out and live the rest of my life comfortably on the interest that the interest of my investments return.

I am not yet 30 and have a secure stream of generational wealth at my disposal.

Next week, I will begin a quest to locate someone to share it with me. My grandmother knew more than I ever expected her to know. When I get the chance, I am going to read everything that woman ever read and everything that woman ever wrote.

I am living her life. She will always be living my life, vicariously, through me.