Jackie

It's been a long time. A very long time. And I suppose you would have never even received this letter if I had written it down. Mostly because I am afraid. The fearless, shameless girl you once knew is scared.

I wonder if you even remember me, or if I was just an insignificant friend among the many we both know you had. But I am to scared to confirm it because that will hurt. And I don't know what will hurt worse. Trying to forget you day after day, or reaching out and finding you didn't care enough to remember?

The place we would sit together alone under the sun remains unused. I can barely stand sitting there alone, staring at the town below it like we used to.

Even though it's been years, I cannot get over it. Almost like it was yesterday. I believe that there is such time as the right person, wrong time. But I fear there was never a right time, and that there never will be. Mostly because I don't know where you are. And also because I think I would be to scared to approach you again.

I think you will be happy, but now after years I have moved on. Sort of. He's nice, and funny like you are, or were. I don't know anymore. And sometimes when I'm with him laughing I can almost forget that there ever was a before. But still you stay, in my head living. Making me wonder that if I would have said what I always wanted to, maybe I would know the answers to all the questions in me now.

But, there was a before you, so there must also be an after. Although I cry, and try to forget, I won't. But, at least I have found a way to get around the constant memories. I haven't told him about you, and I probably never will because it's easier to pretend there was nobody before him. But just in case you were wondering, and if you've already forgotten that's fine. Because now you get a letter from a stranger you can ignore. But still, just in case. I found joy in the sunrises that were your favorite, and I will stare down at that town, but never from out place. From behind it, and pretend I can see two people sitting there, ahead, and living out their happy lives without it ever breaking.