Forgiveness & Unforgiveness: A Double Edged Sword

The desire for revenge or unforgiveness is a facet of human nature, and science, in all its wisdom and glory, leads us to the same conclusion; it's all part of this evolutionary cycle of being human. This isn't to say that being human means one is necessarily weak for being human can create the strongest of beings while by contrast, it can also fashion the weakest.

Forgiveness, or the lack thereof, is like a double-edged sword, and its ability to cut deep is no laughing matter. If one cannot forgive, the nature of the unforgiveness serves to eat away at that person, much like a hammer and chisel, slowly chipping away at the large slab of marble - or life. By strong contrast, and like an oxymoron, the act of forgiveness also has the ability to cut deeply into one's marbled existence. The true essence of both unforgiveness and forgiveness leaves horrific scars on the bearer. The difference between the two, however, is that choosing to forgive allows a scar to heal. The scar of unforgiveness, on the other hand, will fester and lead to a multitude of problems: emotionally, physically, and mentally.

I was taught from a very young age that choosing to forgive takes much more strength and courage than choosing not to forgive. I was told that making an active choice to hate or not forgive would only harm me and not the person hated or unforgiven. Although I know my mother was weak in some things, she was strong in such innate wisdom, and this, fortunately, was one of the main attributes she left me. It stuck, and while I've known many for whom I didn't care, I can honestly say I've never made a choice to hate or to not forgive, even against some of my worst enemies. I keep in mind that forgiving someone for a wrong enacted against me is not the same as choosing not to remember the error of their way. It is always wise to choose caution when associating with those you've had to forgive, especially on more than one occasion. I firmly believe there is no fault in making a choice to remove toxic individuals from your life.

In this cycle we call life, you cannot be friend to all or loved by all. All, being human, will fall short of the mark at some point, leading to disillusionment and sometimes an inclination not to forgive. Be inclined to the wiser choice and use caution, lest the double edged sword win the battle amidst a storm of more than just foul weather. Fashion your own sword, discovering the power forged within the blades of true forgiveness.

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” – Alexander Pope