To Hold a Candle

Can I begin to convey adequately the significance of the lit candle in the dimensions of imagination if you cannot already relate, in some way, to what it means to take heart from a struck match...?

I'll sit us there, if you're willing, for a moment.

It's a bright incandescent rhombus, a square turned-- perfect. A diamond. That is the surface of the lighted table. It floats in an otherwise seemingly borderless space. It might be said to be literature unmade, a meandering mess, reaching for oxygen. The way a book is closed, and the cover glares.

A darkness on so many levels. Lit.

We seldom eat here, though there is a freezer-fridge. It functions entirely as a closet, unplugged. We keep our cash in a pickle jar on the center wire rack. It is the kitchen in name still, and the wood table itself is like a plain slice of bread. Lightly warm toast. It's spread with books, and papers, and dotted with the Holy Bible in the center, and anchored by a pair of brass candlesticks.

We're dressed like we're going out.

I mean in padded pants and jackets. Hood, hats, layers on layers, and the kind of gloves "real artists" wear-- with no fingers. We cut them off ourselves in frustration, then splurged, and bought a couple of $4 pairs pre-made. Whether we're slowly sipping the second pressing of a shared teabag, or reading aloud in a near whisper, or silently writing and sketching some quixotic idea, the thing that keeps us glued and heartened, is the tiny glow of the eyes of two candles.

The poverty of less would demoralize.

Of course we can share, one. But two represents us better, each burning at the wick, at astonishingly even tempo. It is a kind of understated miracle the way household emergency grade wax melts at a fairly predictable rate. We know we have about two hours. I speculate that it's the extra chill of our surroundings that keeps these candles hardened.

Each should only last an hour-- according to the package.