Oops

I thought it was a support group.

They seemed SUPER cool

about the whole virgin thing.

Not like my friends at school.

Everyone wearing monochromatic

loungewear reminded me of

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney.

I felt immediately at ease.

I'd trust those three with my life!

When I told Katie I was still a virgin

she laughed and told the whole school.

When I told Cloud I was still a virgin,

I was given a throne and cake!

It wasn't until the throne reclined

to become an altar

that I became a bit suspicious

My attempt to rise from the altar

was stopped by Cloud and her sister wife,

Asthma.

I grabbed a piece of cake from my pocket

(which I had been saving for later)

and whirled it at the cultists heads.

Fleeing the campsite, I found my phone

and furiously downloaded Tinder.

I would not let this happen again.

(To me at least)