Reflection

I often wish to forget the failures, the shortcomings, and the dismal times – when I've cried, hating myself or someone else. Yet, in doing so, I have to wonder: would I too then change? Would all the many experiences that shaped and made me stronger, wiser, more appreciative, and more humble dissipate into thin air as though they had never existed? Would I then progress to a formidable, less desirable version of myself: a vapid, selfish, irresponsible, and less sympathetic individual, easily despised for those things I would surely lack? An immature brat with no self-awareness or powers of perception?

While at times, I wish to forget all the negative, really tough experiences in my life, I recognize that in doing so, it would not be the smartest choice I’ve ever made. I’ve certainly been dumb and chosen unwisely before; still, this would be the cumulative effect, the mother lode, of all things dumb and unwise, much like a huge rock rolling down a mountain in a landslide, easily smashing what I’ve worked so hard to build. It would be an easy path to choose, but a really devastating, destructive one nonetheless.

So instead, I’ll make a concerted effort to dwell on those things I could easily desire forgotten, and as always, I’ll forge ahead. I’ll continue to do what I’ve always done by putting one foot in front of the other and reflecting on myself as though looking in the mirror. In making these proactive choices, I’ll endeavor to take in, to learn from every minute experience as long as I draw breath even it such a choice includes hurt or pain.

It would be so easy to forget, but I've always chosen the hard way - never learned anything the easy way. Therefore, I'll not forget, for in doing so, I will be a perpetual learner of life and truly live.