We’re in it together

As if I knew we’d go together

Born of her womb, am I her gift or her curse?

Some people just like to live forever.

Some people, like me, fear far worse.

I wish someone had told me the full story.

The devilish details and the intricate plot

Instead I’m left with a mystery without glory

The past’s ribboned box I daren’t untie the knot

But I’m left to guess through present’s guests

And past’s giant relics as they fade to salt soon

What was the worst part of my family or the best?

That flew my wings to the sun and left me in the shadow of the moon?

What got my mother to have me, will or spite?

Love, I guess, was probably already a well run dry

Two boys on hand, large and loose, no end in sight

And a desolate man, a woman’s situation: do or die

And do she did and planned the deed. Or so I was told.

And sowed my father’s seed and let him know the news

I was told he ran off the rails knowing he was just too old

To tolerate a third and see how much worse he’d become from the prior two

And so my mother gave me love, some version of it

I never understood what exactly was missing

Like every blessed child I felt there was a world and I was in it

Till I lost my father, and she and I were counting our blessing

And a countdown it was as I move away but it seems

That invisible umbilical cord is still there pulling me back

I feel as if we are intertwined in real life and dreams

What happens to her happens to me but as an attack

And now there’s a light in sight, one of us will pass through

I suspect if it’s her, I’ll be soon to follow, I was never left behind

I wish I had a theory to this that would even hold true

But I think I’ll die when someday she’d have made up her mind.