Tee for Two (or Four)

Traditional golf course with holes eighteen,

It is recommended to wear sunscreen.

Pay attention you don’t rupture your spleen,

Attempting to birdie on the third green.

Pay heed of the wind on every fairway,

For with a stray shot, your nerves they may fray.

If you beat your partners, you’d best downplay,

To prevent stray objects in your airway.

Heed your caddie when he hands you a wood,

He’s thinking an iron would do no good.

You could object, but do you think you should?

Those clubs would make excellent firewood.

Hitting your ball into a large sand trap,

Almost ensures spectators will not clap.

You must keep your cool amid this mishap,

And watch your expletives worse than “Oh crap!”

Remember that each time you swing your club,

You may be impeded by a large shrub.

Oftentimes the pros fall prey to a flub,

But forget later on while at the pub.

At each hole intend to, at least, make par,

Whether you tee off from near or afar.

If you eagle, it’s time for that cigar,

Win a major tourney, buy a sports car.