Mess of Me
These halls are all so empty
Though other kids surround me
I see them, all together,
Yet my heart is still sighing.
My friends are sort of friends,
But I don't have the time
To tell them that I care
Or that I'm always there.
Remembering my God
Brings me shame and not grace
I know this is a lie
But I can't fight this fight
Am I called to walk
This pain alone?
Oh, should I give up hope,
Where can I go?
I'm all alone
Drowning in my past and
Wondering if friends still last
My heart is cold
But no one cares at all
So who's here to rescue
The mess of me?
Thanks for being kind to me,
Sharing shards of empty empathy,
But stopping when things get too deep,
And my thoughts start turning messy.
Life's a joke, so you can't help
When things get real, you walk out
Maybe I expect way too much
But way too much won't be enough
Am I called to walk
This pain alone
Oh, should I give up hope,
Where can I go?
I'm all alone
Drowning in my past and
Wondering if friends still last
My heart is cold
But no one cares at all
So who's here to rescue
The mess of me?
Oh Lord, give me strength
To lean on you, to search for you
My Lord, give me strength
Live isn't worth living without you
I know you'll never leave me
Your spirit dwells within me
God help me wait upon you
Help me to know
Oh, I'm not alone
You were here before and
Your love will always last
My heart is yours
Lord Jesus, take it all
I know that your love
Still fights for me!
(These are song lyrics about my life at school. I felt different from everyone else there, and I constantly fell into despair when I saw everyone else being so close and friendly with one another. At the time it was just a reminder of what I didn't have.
The only thing I've had to hold on to was my faith, that Jesus still loved me even when everyone else seemed to ignore me. He is the reason I can still be joyful in times of struggle and loneliness, for I know that he will carry me through my every struggle.
Comment below if you can relate to this poem or if you have any comments or questions you would want to share! And any advice or ideas you can give me would be appreciated; I don't usually share my work. Peace!)