The Uncertain Certain Woman

Sometimes I think the bottom of me has fallen out.

I mean, I think I am never satisfied.

I have gotten to a point where I think I can love someone but then I choose to look at desserts on other plates that are pretty but will never, not really, satisfy the yearning within me.

What does it mean to be perpetually unsatisfied? 

I never thought I would be this way.

I did not think that I would let my heart/mind be put into something far less safe and sound, something that could sink me.

I still do not know if I am steering my ship in the right direction. I can tell you most certainly that the clouds look like they will bring rain and thunder but when they arrive… well that’s when the sun breaks through and shows me all the ways in which I don’t know a goddamn thing,

not one thing.

And in this… I am certain.