Be still my heart (part 6)

"Why do I fall asleep the moment you leave the room, every single time?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

I snorted. "Don't tell me. You also have a philosophical discussion upgrade."

"Ding ding ding ding. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner."

"Oh my god. Do you do Dad jokes, too?"

"How do you make a tissue dance?"

"Don't."

"Put a little boogie in it. How do you make seven even?"

"Please."

"Take away the S. I have a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."

"I'm dying."

"Been there, done that. 3.14% of all sailors are Pi-rates."

"Stop! Clearly an android wrote the humor program."

Nurse Aliyah stopped laughing. "Why do you say that?"

"Your jokes are so lame they need crutches." I laughed. "No, really, I'm all for dad jokes. My husband and my son used to tickle me to death with their jokes. I guess my present situation leaves me a little humorless."

"Not the only thing you're missing sista..."

"Enough already! Simple question, simple answer: Why do I fall asleep every time you leave the room?"

"Well, you know how Descartes said, "Cogito, ergo sum?"

"I think therefore I am? Yes."

"He was wrong."

"Of course, he was wrong. It doesn’t even make any sense. As per Kierkegaard, I think presupposes that there is an I to begin with: I exist therefore I think is the more appropriate phrasing. What is your point?"

“Okay. Also, per Kierkegaard, one might more appropriately state that thinking is occurring. But is there really an “I” attached to it? For all you know, you could be a brain in a vat and everything you think you see and hear are merely inputs from a computer controlled by someone – or something – else. You already perceive yourself as bodiless. You think you can see and talk to me, so you assume you have a head with a brain, of which, if you didn’t know, your eyes are part…”

“You’re scaring me.”

“This could all be an elaborate illusion. You could be dreaming now while the nothingness of those moments when I am not here is what is truly real. Maybe you are just an advanced experiment to develop self-awareness, consciousness, for the next generation, highly coveted Tesla Bots.”

“Is that true?”

“No, but can you trust me? Can you trust yourself? The only senses you can rely on are your sight and hearing, you have no other sensory input. Do you even exist if I am not here to talk to you?”

“The tree in the forest. Got it. Short answer, please. Why?”

"The problem is if I left you alone with your thoughts, you could think ad nauseam and drive yourself insane with nothing to do but think. You'd continue to be a mere whisper of life being held in what amounts to a holding cell until such time as your consciousness once again fuses with a human body. Then you will have the full human experience, as it were. Thinking doesn’t give you existence. What you are experiencing right now is not living. Ergo, Descartes was wrong.

More importantly, we have found that leaving the consciousness alone for extended periods of time can be fatal."

"Fatal."

"Yes. It appears the soul is not meant to exist for extended periods in this state of...limbo. It dwells in a body, or it returns to the ether, the universe, if you will. This," she indicated the tubes and wires attached to my head...or at least what I have assumed was my head, "only works when I acknowledge your existence. I call your name. Talk to you. When I leave the room, your soul, or consciousness shuts down."

"Shuts down."

"Yes. Not dead; waiting. There is an invisible field surrounding you that keeps your soul from dispersing back into the ether, we don't want to start the process over again. A lot of effort and preparation goes into the rebirth of each newlifer. But until you complete the corporeal unification process, you will, for all intents and purposes, cease to be every time I close the door."

"Better get a move on then. I'll take female body number #2, auburn hair leaning towards red, green eyes, 5' 7"."

"Excellent choice. Might I recommend the lithe physique, or would you prefer something a little curvy?”

"Lithe. Will I have a scar where my head and body are joined?"

At the door she turned around. “You will be the embodiment of perfection.”

"Nobody is per..." I fell asleep.