Drunk Shooting — a Shot for a Shot
Shooting was made an official Olympic sport when it debuted in 1896. Is it any wonder that the country with the most homicides by gun is the one which has garnered the most medals? Our way of life certainly makes it unfair for other, i.e., gun-unfriendly, countries.
Drunk shooting solves this inequity in a most sporting — and entertaining — way. As a handicap, the American shooters must take a shot (no pun intended) between each, well, shot they take. The alcoholic beverage must be either whiskey, tequila, or vodka.
As a safeguard, audience attendance must include a mandatory release form for accidental injury. The bronze, silver, and gold medalists will then compete in a sudden-death shooting match substituting PCP for the alcohol.