Your Struggles Are Real
I wish I could tell you that you're going to survive this. I survived, but you're not me. This is one of those particularly bad lows. One you'll always remember as a time not to go back to if you get through. The thoughts shift towards ideation. There are people who care. I promise you're not alone or unloved. Think about who would be distraught if you were gone. I urge you to try not to be critical. There is a reason even if there's no end goal. You can search for your purpose for a lifetime as long as you're here to search for it. Give yourself a chance by staying away from anything you could hurt yourself with. See a therapist if you can and need it. This is hard for you, and that's normal. I hope to see you on the other side to hear about how you survived. See you soon, my friend! I hope you'll be around to talk. You can tell me everything or nothing, whatever works for you. I'm not going to end with a cheesy empowering saying because I know how annoying those can get when you're down. It's up to you. I'll understand if this is it and I'll celebrate with you when/if you want to if it's not.