Boulders.

Sisyphus had to face eternal torment. His toil required so much more exertion. But his true happiness came from the meaninglessness of his actions. It is that to which we relate. The movie I watched today. The books I read. The time I spend with temporary people. It's all going to end. I will know the grave. And for all my misery, I'm surprisingly optimistic. Maybe the loneliness of the grave will not hurt as much. To be lonely among the ones you're meant to love, that is true hell.

We're all men doomed to drive boulders up a hill. And the greatest comedy of it all is, we chose those boulders when we didn't really need to. It makes me laugh when I realize it. We chose to drive boulders uphill because we love it. We love to suffer. When all we could do is nothing but the mere minimum. Do what is commanded and die. We'll be rewarded with glorious eternity. We can do all we desire beyond the grave.

I struggle to articulate it, but I want to be able to say it. What I mean is, death makes null all those boulders we so fruitlessly push uphill. Rather than preach life and living to the extreme, we should preach the lessons of the dead and the dying. We should teach one to die as one desires.

A good life is one spent preparing for a good death.

In the dilemma of bliss and suffering imposed on humanity, I choose finite suffering over finite bliss. Such is the evil of fleeting joys that it takes from us the death all men deserve. It entraps us in its boulders and hills. And it's falsehoods and dreams.

I'd be willing to trade temporary happiness for the expectation of reward any day. To see what awaits me when I am at the top of the hill does not matter. What we imagine awaiting us is so much more beautiful than reality can ever be.