Acceptance

Exposure is something I am comfortable with.

A nice, light level that allows me to adjust and adapt.

Something I can grow accustomed to, and learn to live with.

But lately the exposure has exceeded my comfort level.

It goes beyond my youth, beyond my former innocence.

Everything I had left to see has now been seen

Like a bucket list of grievances I had not wanted to unpack.

So now what curiosity is left in me?

I have seen the darkness and sadness that I always hesitantly craved.

And now I am left to live with it.

Should I celebrate the exposure?

Or grieve with the despair?

So many people dead, hurt, desperate, longing for answers.

And me

Taking it all in, bearing witness to their worst days.

It takes adrenaline, it takes passion, it takes the life out of me

To save the lives of others.

Is this how I come to accept this?

Is this acceptance?