Fear is my frequent guest.
Constantly a guest at my table, eating away at my self-confidence.
A cold mask helps push it down, but it still cries like a spoiled child being told “no.” When asking for what’s on your plate after dumping its food on the ground.
All the deep breathing in the world only brings my mind back to my body in the present for moments before the films of the past and imaginings of the future play in my minds eye.
A constant picture show only turned off when surrounded by the chaos of nature.
I accept myself, I will feed my fear on occasion to keep it healthy (no need to neglect the part of me that kept me alive when I was homeless) but I will not let it consume all of my energy.
I choose to let it be a guest and allow it to visit from time to time.
I know myself. I am a gracious host, learning to set boundaries with myself.