When People Ask How I’m Doing

after Rudy Francisco

I deflect

and ask how they are

watch through their windows

to catch a mirror—find

a glint of a slip

do you also breathe different behind closed doors?

break bank to buy normal?

skin your skin because you know yourself?

Are we the same?

I find

they are asking about themselves

my non-answer for their own

a lazy hope

for tether

do you also let your wrists be pulled?

find your tears circling the drain?

watch me watch you and break cover?

Are we the same?

I lie

don’t disclose my bpm—higher

when I pretend, when my days reorder

themselves to bury truth and my nights—

exhume

do you also concede to the holiness of words?

need space to fall in love?

not sleep to memorize?

Are we the same?