Challenge
Write about being alone.
Solitary
I'm too much in my head. Alone, the thoughts are uncontrollable. They fly at me in thick heavy swarms, unable to be brushed away... easily.
It takes some time and copious amounts of energy to do the slightest of tasks. The first being to simply get up. I am charged with the care of this house, this family?! I can barely care for myself. Exhausted is my name. Exhausted at hearing my name.
Leave me alone. Stop coming at me. Too many people! It is utter frustration, trying to figure out which is the better option for me. With people, I'm drained, I'm on stage. Alone, the thick heavy swarms attack.
Alone. No support. Alone. Nothing getting done. Alone. I think I'd prefer to be... sometimes.
Alone.
Erin
@sandflea68 @RubyPond... I could have posted this in your challenge about depression too.
James
Nice
Bjc
Hard way to live feeling like this. Good write...in the sense that you capture the feeling of being alone/depressed so accurately. A truly authentic voice here. Thank you for sharing.
Erin
Oops... Yes, you're right. Wrong tag. Forgive me @RowRow1990. What a sweet comment @RubyPond, thank you. Your words lift me up and I hold them dear.
Thank you @James.
And @Bjc, it really really is hard... And it's invisible, making me look like a lazy asshole. It causes physical pain too, yes... But it's mental. I thank you.
sandflea68
@MrsErinEWilson The alone challenge was mine and you wrote about it so well. Sorry you are having a difficult time and are exhausted. One person can't do it all. Some things aren't that important so maybe you can stop doing some of the things(such as cleaning) as much. Best wishes.
Erin
Thank you @sandflea68... For the comment and the challenge (that's why I tagged you). If I'm being completely honest, the bare minimum gets done because I'm frozen. I get overwhelmed and shut down. It's truly not fair to my family. And my high standards and wishes for perfection make me disgusted and angry and sad... It's cyclical. I have good days sometimes. And I'll try to get EVERYTHING done when I have that motivation and energy. Then I'm wiped out and can't keep it together the days that follow. Frustrating.
sandflea68
@MrsErinEWilson I remember a time when I felt frozen when circumstances were overwhelming.
Just be reassured that there will be a thaw and you'll see the sunshine once again.
Erin
Thank you @sandflea68. I do need that reminder sometimes. Much appreciated, Dear Friend.
RowRow1990
You're right, it also would have gone will mine.
What a fantastic write
I'm glad I got tagged in it xxx
strathis
@MrsErinWilson This is so good, so real!
strathis
@MrsErinEWilson
Erin
Thank you @RowRow1990 and @strathis
Lisa
What about changing uncontrollable to intolerable? Adding "always" before hearing? Also before on stage? I'd space out the ending more. Quite good overall.
RowRow1990
I love it as it is xx
honey010203
Ah! Felt every word of that dear <3
SunceraySalazar
You sound like my daughter. She has been dealing with this for a long time. She sees doctors for her problems, and she just got some medications that actually stopped all the massive thoughts swarming her all the time. It has taken a hell of a load off her. she is now feeling better and has to learn not to live like she did all the years she was massively depressed. I wish you all the power of god to bless your life and to heal you.
Erin
@Lisa, thank you for you critique. I tried reading through with your suggestions. Couldn't find "hearing" in there.
@RowRow1990, thank you again. I think I rather prefer it the way it is myself.
@Mel, you're always so kind and sweet. Thanks Love.
@SunceraySalazar, I'm so glad to hear your daughter is feeling better. Maybe in private message you can tell me more. You have a kind heart. Thank you for thinking of me and reaching out.