Observing What Is Around Me

I’ll take deep breaths

close my eyes

and feel the space around me.

I’m trying to train myself

into believing

no one likes to be around me.

I let my mind wander,

skimming memories,

accepting the past within me.

I let my mind experiment

with morbid estimates

predicting the future for me.

I see no physical presence

of those who claim to care

disbelieving anyone loving me.

I get a lump in my throat

hold my breath

and cry in the space around me.

There’s no one.

There’s no one.

There’s no one around me.

There’s someone

sometimes

but they don’t care for me.

Eventually, I’ll see

the emptiness surrounding

is, in the long run, better for me.

Peace.

Serenity.

That is what I need around me.