average.

i got my test scores back.

turns out i'm in the top five percent.

but not the top one.

not the top one.

they say

it's not a contest

but

if my best is not

the best of the best

then

what am i even doing here?

i know some people

didn't even try

but i, i tried

and i messed up.

i'm not used to this

it's not supposed to be hard

it's never been hard

for me.

on all days

i've always

been the best

of the rest,

but not today.

not today.

simply "better than average" is not enough

i need to be the best

i think i'd die

if i

were only

average.

---------

another test

another f.

everyone thinks

i'm lazy

but maybe

i really am trying.

they just have to believe me.

i put in the hours

i put in the work

but this class

is too fast

i'm past

my limit.

i always been

the worst one

i'm so dumb

i'm so done.

they just shrug me off

and call me stupid

but no one stops to think,

when i fail,

what if you did?

i'm tired of

just barely getting by

god, i'd kill to be

average.