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topics of randomness: assorted nuts edition
dear theprosedotcomniks! it is here again, those randii. if you, against all better judgment, choose to participate in this unholy mix of unrelated topics, then simply choose one, some, all or none of the following topics and write whatever you wish about them in whatever form you see fit. and the topics are : 1)Wheeler's trading post and general store. 2)the day Rusty (the honky tonk player) died. 3)Alchemy and Astrology, learn to get along. 4)the penguin-shaped building, and other embarrassments. 5)things that the 25$ you got selling your story would have got you in the distant past. 6) early techniques of plumbing the depth of the Irish sea. 7) pole vaulting in the age of uncertainty. 8)the contents of Johann Dzierzon's pockets. 9)Magma chambers, and the smurfs that eat them 10)how the grinch deragulated the railway industry. 11)what Keith Jarret's Köln Concert  teaches us about celery. 12)Timbuktu, and the fabulous horse races. 17) the missing six topics and the alternate universe where they are the only topics. 19)Zafod Bíblbrox and his can-do attitude. +-+-+-+-+-+-+&--+-+-+-+-+-+-+-good luck, and may the flow comnence...
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poeman

Hill Country Gazette

-Booger Hollow, AR

It is with heavy hearts that this publication must bring news of the passing from this earth of the singular and greatest celebrity in the rich history of the Hill Country area.

Rusty Carr, famed guitar, banjo, fiddle, steel guitar, piano, tuba, harmonica, and juice harp player and singer, whose life was cut short Saturday night as he performed before a record crowd of more than thirty people in the illustrious Smoked Ham Tavern in Booger Hollow Arkansas.

Mr. Carr, also known as The Honky Tonk Player, had been in rare form performing such hits as, The Night My Cousin Left Me, Pass the Damn Jug, and Teardrops For My Beagle before tragedy struck. Approximately half way through the concert, a shine jug being used as a stage rigging weight broke free from above, crushing the beloved Rusty Carr's cranium.

A patron who was witness to the horrible event, known only to me as Joe Jack, described the frightening scene, "At sanger uz jus runnin around all over the place, jus a pickin an a strangin an a hellufashow. All sudden I seen this white blur come from tha ceilin. At thang hit Rusty right in top a tha head. I seen blood hit Vicky Sue standin in front a tha stage. She uz cryin an screamin, 'My hair! My hair!'. Yep, at jug damn near split his head down the middle."

Booger Hollow chief of police, Jim Bob White, was willing to give an official statement to the Hill Country Gazette. "At this time, we believe death was instantaneous and Mr. Carr suffered no pain in his passing. However, those blood stains ain't coming out of that banjo no time soon."

A short time later, a band member who wished to remain anonymous told me, "That police man gave me a great idea fer a song, Bloodstains On The Banjo".

Mr. Carr's body will be transported back to Hill Country where he will be laid to rest in his family cemetery.

I am 21 years or older.