Ew

I sat there, tainted.

An image in my mind,

that I couldn't get out no matter how much I tried.

Her blue eyes and plump lips,

dark hair and straight teeth.

"Ew"

She mouthed the words,

I knew them before I heard them.

I'd heard them enough times before,

I just never thought they'd be from her.

"Ew"

The word keeps replaying in my head

like a tape recorder stuck on repeat.

"Ew"

That describes me

What she thought of me

What I thought of her didn’t matter

It didn’t matter

if I thought her eyes were beautiful,

if her laugh was my favorite sound,

if her cheeky comments made my day,

Or if her slight blush would make me crumble if it was ever directed my way.

It didn’t matter if I’d smile everytime our fingers touched,

Or lie to her about my grade just to make her feel better.

It didn’t matter,

Because to her,

I was just an “Ew”