I Mean This Whore Heartedly

I’ve always hated the terms slut, whore, ho, or anything else that relates. I’m 30 years old & married to one of the best men in the world! I’m very pleased with my life and marriage, but I do wish I engaged more with men when I was younger. I’ve been with 4 men in my lifetime, sexually. I lost my virginity 2 weeks shy of my 15th birthday, so only being 14 made me feel like I would be labeled a whore. Due to my feelings and inability to own myself as an individual and my actions, I held myself back from being with other men. Being a teenager is hard because I worried about everything, especially my reputation like others, as well. I wish I didn’t worry as much! I wish I understood that name calling us only that, name calling. Who the hell are you (not you, specifically) to determine what I am? Now that I’ve grown up, matured and went through very serious and significant things in life, I understand how superficial these terms are. I’m not saying I wish I slept with 35 men, but I do wish I worried less about these labels. I think it’s good for everyone to experience new things, safely. Sexuality is our own right, as women. I don’t think men should be the only ones allowed to explore it, while women are shamed for it. The worst part of this, is the fact that it’s mostly women who are shaming women with these derogatory names! Of course, we all know some who take things too far and sleep with people in relationships, using their sexuality to hurt others. I could never condone that behavior and you made the best point, it ends in loneliness. Does that mean it’s fair to label them? As an adult, I feel like a person like that needs to seek therapy to find the root of their issues.

@estherflowers1 thank you for your response! I love discussing the views and opinions with others. Ive always learned the most when conversing about opposite sides of the spectrum.

A man who sleeps with a different woman every day leaves a long trail of enemies.

@voiceinthewind do you identify a woman or man to be a whore if they still have feelings for a previous partner? I noticed you take route to that point.

It’s not a goal, it’s more geared toward the labels I so worried about at a teen. Slut-shaming was a main issue. I let those labels take away from things I wanted to do, THEN. Today I’m content & I have a husband that I am over the moon about. I don’t need to explore my sexuality now. However, it important that we realize shaming one can be detrimental in many ways. Girls are mean to girls. We will be the first to tear each other down.

@voiceinthewind call this part 2 of my comment. I always had a thought process similar to yours right now, believe it or not. However, I really morphed into a more open minded woman, who understands a person can be a walking contradiction. For example, a woman can say she wish she didn’t let society prevent her from experiencing things with others, while not wanting to do so now because she is head over heals with who she is with now.

A side note, I must say, our writing that provokes conversation and thought, is the best feeling as an author! I write with the intent to do just that & I’m happy to hear all view points, whether they are positive, negative, disagreeing, agreeing, etc. This piece really created good conversation & I love that.

I'd love to butt in on this one but I wouldn't even know where to start