Well, my dearest friends, philologists, philosophizers, philanderers and philanthropists, it is with sickening satisfaction and disturbing delectation that I must inform you formally of this latest attempt in the long and prestigious line of style-thieving extravaganzas and rollicking randomness! (with profuse apologies to batmaninwuhan for unintentionally inspiring this malignant mischief yet again.) You (yes YOU!) are hereby invited to perform, in one, some, all, or none of the following writing events as poked, prodded coerced or otherwise prompted to do so. Without further ado, the topics are as follows: 1) Quizzically raised eyebrows. 2) Temporal disruptions in magnetism. 2) An "accidental" overdose of Gamma radiation altered your body chemistry. now whenever you grow amorous or affectionate, a startling metamorphosis occurs. 3) the contents of Sylvester Stallone's pockets (hint: it's not condominiums.) 4) "Scrotumtightening" and other profitably pilfered phrases. 5) The heartwarming story of Hermy the heartworm. 5) spud boy finally found his real tomato!! 6) It's all the same really. Take porn and tearjerkers; both just visual stimuli intended to produce an embarrassing secretion of bodily fluids. 7) unpalatable palpitations in the pupal stage. 8) anthropomorphized invertebrates in the fifth age of Muckling. 9) the paltry proceeds of poultry farming 10) alms, alms for the amputees. 11) inordinate ordinances and their deleterious effect on interstellar quasars. 12) hang on a tick... Why are there two number fives in this challenge? What kind of snivelingly incompetent nincompoop wrote this derivative drivel??? Well??? ....(there's also two twos!) ____________________________________________________________________ Note to those afflicted with the burden of a heavy coin-purse: participation in this challenge is free, but if you do feel unnaturally compelled to fritter away any or all of your hard-earned wages, I'll wager that your local SFRC (snood-fondler's rehabilitation clinic) is currently collecting stamps and other bric-a-brac as alternative fondling fodder. Every little bit helps. (Onions prohibited.)