~Write~

You: "Get something off your chest."

Me: *pulls squid/octopus off my chest like that one Spongebob episode where that happens*

That has been on my mind, just getting it off my chest. So, anyway...

It would be nice if I could get my crush off my mind. He's living in my head rent free, and it's nice sometimes but becoming frustrating. All I want to do is be around him and talk to him and get to know him. I haven't crushed on a guy this strongly in a long time, and I'm concerned it's unhealthy. The good is that I'm more on top of washing my clothes and bathing and taking care of my hygiene because I want to be clean and smell nice knowing I'll get to see him.

The bad is that it's another thing that is negatively affecting my spiritual life, and I don't really feel ready to give it up yet. There's other factors involved like how I'm choosing not to read my Bible or pray or anything, and I just, haven't had the energy for it and I have had very little desire for it, and I'm not trying to grow that desire. I have not wanted to try and be more like Christ, and if I have, I have no strength to keep going. I think I can see the hardness that is in my heart, but I am too weak to try and fight it, and I know I'm playing a dangerous game with my soul. I'm playing with the souls of others.

So yeah. That's something I wanted to get off my chest.