you left like a snow flake melting in the warm sun
you died like the leaves in autumn, begging me to go with you
you left like the sun when the rain descends
you left me.
everyone leaves, in the end.
or i leave.
it always seems i'm chasing my tail
and a r o u n d
and a r o u n d.
when does this sickening merry-go-round
end? when can i have the stability i crave?
i feel as if i've stopped growing or maturing
while the world continues to spin on and on and on...
i don't deserve this. i did nothing to lose you,
nothing wrong. this is unfair. everyone else had more
time, more moments, more laughs, memories, tears,
you won't be there when i graduate from high school.
you won't be there when i get my first car.
you won't be there my first day of college.
you'll never meet my boyfriends or friends and
you'll never walk me down the aisle.
marriage always seemed dull and boring but
if it meant you were by my side that day,
it would be worth it.
i think that now.
now that i will never get that
was one not enough?
why not take two?
are you going to pick them off
like apples on a tree till only
i am left?
or will i be next...
will i be the next to die...
to be buried in the spring
with dying flowers adorning my grave.
will that be me?