A little unorthodox but..

I could say spiders.

Or heights.

Or swamps.

Instead, I'll share my recent discovery of my true greatest fear.

When I was little and depression was only just beginning, I didn't know how to make sense of what was happening.

So instead, I gave that voice in my head a name.

Called it Connie, short for Conscience.

We would talk back and forth day by day.

In a strange way, I knew she was a part of me but instead, she became an imaginary friend for me.

Friend might not be the word for it...

She and I have known each other since those many years ago.

A figure in a black cloak, shrouded in darkness.

I know now that she is me.

I know now that if she rose that hood, it would be my face I see and no one else's.

I always feared that some day, she would come to me, raise the hood off her face and that was the day I would give up on life completely.

I still fear now that I might see her, again.

She was brought to life due to the silly musings if a child that couldn't understand themself.

No matter how grown up or broken I have become, that child is still a part of me.

And so is their fear.

Here's to never seeing her again.

Life isn't the prettiest but I didn't let that voice win then and I certainly won't, now.