How can you be an angel when you feel like the devil

Why am I so full of self-doubt.

Is this arrogance in reverse?

I feel conflicted and torn up inside.

I look at the world around me.

Some days I see darkness

Some days I see light.

The other day I saw a Nun loading groceries

into her car.

I helped her, she said I was an angel.

How can you be an angel when you feel like the devil.

She smiled and waved as she pulled away in her car.

Somebody turn on a light.

I can’t feel in the Darkness.

The awkward randomness of the shadows.

The minutes in limbo, that seem like days.

Where is my Muse, my pithy riposte.

Why am I walking around in orbits.

Am I trying to become star or am I just a bolide that’s fallen to the earth.

Again, I ask

How can you be an angel when you feel like the devil.