Huck’s Tool-Shed Diet Book
The “All I Want for Christmas” Tool-Shed “Juicer’s Only” Diet
Using only a hammer, screwdriver, and needle-nosed pliers taken from the tool-shed, remove a tooth a day until there are no more. This experiment will make eating painful at start and inconvenient later. This diet also offers unexpected value by eliminating:
1- the expense of future dental maintenance
2- the time involved in three daily brushings and flossing’s.
3- the worries of romance.
The Out Behind the Tool-Shed Diet
Pay a large, mean person to follow you around and beat the snot out of you every time you reach for a Reece’s, a Big Mac, a brownie, or a Mountain Dew. (To include ice cream if it is a particular problem, and I would bet that it is.)
The Out Front of the Tool-Shed Diet
Take your unused bicycle out of the shed. Put your pantry, refrigerator, and car keys inside where the bike was, then chain an unfamiliar Rottweiler in front of the shed's door. Five feet beyond the chain’s length place the bicycle. You can think about the food in the pantry and fridge, but I wouldn't advise going there! Instead, use the bike to ride to the store once you are completely famished and must eat something.
This diet is great for maintaining a steady weight, as you cannot carry a great many donuts while riding a bike. This diet is also cost effective, as the dog works best when he, too, is hungry.
The Eat Only What You Can Find or Kill Inside the Too-Shed Diet
This diet is self-explanatory, and is very, very effective... ick!
The Use The Tools Inside The Tool-Shed Diet
That’s right, the scariest diet yet! Get out there and work the weight off! (You could even earn a dime or two as an added bonus, if you were so industrious as to carry the tools over to a neighbor’s yard before you begin.)
I wish you all good luck in choosing the diet that works best for you!