my only nightmare

we have subtle lenses

attached to complex visions.

they call it creativity.

i call me falling off

the deep-end,

not drowning

or swimming in,

but falling.

guess its a perception thing.

i think at least if i were only drowning,

i'd only have five more minutes of

living like this.

but falling,

i am still breathing

and i can be falling forever.

at least thats how it seems.

my mind made up is

always different than

the norm or

the rest of the breathing world.

and i don't care if they do.

leave it to them.

i can't worry about

pleasing everybody.

i have too many damn ledges

to avoid catching,

to avoid becoming

just another anybody

like the rest of you sheep in society.

my eyes will stay

wide awake.

fuck you for loving me

and wanting me

and trying to

pull/push

tempt/sway

bribe/beg

me back to safety.

i don't want to be

tucked away

in someone elses

dreams.

that is my only nightmare.