Is this better than being alone?

I tried to smother the flames

of the spark that ignited in my heart when I first saw you.

Afraid that you didn't feel the same

so I pushed you away

And you pushed back harder.

Cruel words masked the way our hearts screamed out

Begging one another to stay

Screams that would fall on deaf ears every time.

Our toxicity spread like a wildfire

The only warmth we could always feel

is the temporary love shared between us under the sheets

But is this love?

Every time I would leave my heart grew heavier with pain

We watched our flame burn any good intentions we may have had.

And we wonder why we keep crawling back to one another

If this isn't what we want, isn't what we need.

Well...

Because the truth my dear,

Is that loneliness is colder than the way he treats me in the dark.

So I will pick up the phone every time that you call.