Experiences, Memories, Force, and Choice

A little bit of both. It just not as simple as being born into it or choosing. The complexity of it all is massive. We do not choose our family, but interactions with them and lessons learned from them (good or bad) have a huge role in shaping who we are from the moment we are born and into adulthood. There is a point however, (once we know better and can understand/reflect) that we do choose. We loved them first because we were born into it, and we will be forever grateful (or not but definitely cognizent) for the experiences that helped us grow but once we are able to gain a new perspective and see our family members as individuals we choose whether to love and be loved or to create distance and find others to love. But then again, there are some who don't feel they have the right to choose not to love them and others who are afraid to choose not to love them and yet still more that lack the confidence to go through with the choice not to love them. SO my answer is like when someone asks me how I think the universe came to be.. I don't know -yes we know of the big bang but then what made that happen? and then what created whatever made that happen? and so on and so on. I don't know and none of us ever will. :)