no wonder the lullabies prepare us to crash down

Imagination helps struggling through this hell

If you could be anyone else

I’d appreciate that.

Why would you stick around for this?

I can’t tell you how you make me feel

Brushing off my opinions

they’re not real they’re not real...

I love to sit out in the storm

Watch the lightning burn

And the thunder roar

I love to feel the rain on my face

I can’t tell you how you make me feel

But if you’d listen I’d say

You make me feel like i could be afraid of storms.

-

I’m so violently alone.

I have no one who understands or makes me feel whole.

What do i have that can even help me out?

I want to die, i think. I don’t want to have existed at all.

I want my memory to be something other than what it will be.

And what is the process of changing it? (Men in Black lasers (tm) would help.)

Everyone should forget about me. I wish.

Everyone will forget about me.

... I fear it.

Every cell feels the empty

ness of passing time.

Each second reverberates like a train.

We smile on the gravel on the side of the tracks.

I’m so violently alone. I’m not sure where to go.

I’m not even sure if i can say these things or

if my true self is so suppressed she’s limited to only typing. Typing to some distant stranger who will glance over my words out of respect for the lost soul that wrote

them. But still won’t understand. Yet will feel my same pain. I’m so violently alone.

It’s human nature. We all play this game, just given different tools and fields and rules.

But the game doesn’t change.

Survive.

Be happy.

Survive.

I’m done playing games. I’m so violently alone. I just wish you’d understand.