Pain: it’s a paradox
What do yoy do when you cannot cry? When you're choking and drowning in tears but not a drop comes out. When you want to scream but the sound is trapped. When you're chained to a cold, hard fear; but do not know where the chains strat or where they end.
I'm walking through this tangled mess blinded by its force, to smile, when I want to scream, "leave me alone!" Putting on an act, because I do not know what to do. Not knowing how to answer this darkness, or how to turn on the light, I'm lost. But I have not idea as to why? Or where to start?
The tears finally come but it came because I smiled too much that my heart feels as if it has been through the shredder over and over again.
I want to stay here in this darkness, to feel this pain again and over, all the time. But I hate myself for thinking that.
You may ask why I am speaking in a paradox?
Well that is because; Pain is addictive, you want to let go and hold on tight all at once.