Fear.

There isn't a day that goes by I don't fear aging. For all the years I've been on Earth, it scares me to imagine that I will be on it for much longer. I cannot find it in myself to believe that life will get better, only changing the struggles I face to those I have not been taught to fight. One day, I will not be able to run back into my mother's arms, nor will I be able to seek words of advice from my father. There are nights I cry myself to sleep because I cannot handle the overwhelming fear that overtakes my soul.

But, there is one thing that scares me more. And it's because I am living it.

The thing I fear the most is never being loved the way I love others. I fear that I will never know the embrace of a person who would burn the world down to see that I experience warmth.

When I say:

"I would kill somebody for you."

It isn't an exaggeration. When I love, I love beyond care for myself. The consequence doesn't matter I will put somebody before myself if that is what they need in the moment. I will sacrifice everything to remedy the hurt of my friends, family, and anybody else I may find myself loving.

Is it so much to ask for a person who is willing to do the same?

I have never been put first in my entire life and I find myself fearing that I will never be a priority.