endlessly

if we were to meet again,

i'd imprint your face into my memories;

the mole under your right eye, the slight crease

on your forehead, the faded scar on the left side

of your nose, the way your hair always brushed into

your eyes, the way your eyes crinkled when you

smiled. i'd sear that moment into my memories.

if we were to meet again,

i'd say i'm sorry

for all the years i left you waiting

in this very same spot all those years ago.

i wonder if you felt this same way;

endless longing for something that no longer

exists, desire for nothing more than to see each

other again. enduring all these suffocating feelings

of pain, loneliness, & sadness all while clinging

onto the hope that one day i'll return to you.

replaying the memories we once shared over &

over & over again until you've replayed them so

many times, you can no longer bear it, but at the

same time you can't let them go.

if we were to meet again,

i'd be back on that hill where i first met you,

watching you smile under the moonlight

as you turned back to look at me again.

i'd be back on that hill where i still am, waiting

endlessly. & i'm living a life where i'm wondering

when the end will come, all while waiting for you.

if we were to meet again,

& you were to say you never wanted to see

me again, i'd say okay & i'd let you go.

because you should be happy, even if that means

it's not by my side.

i guess, it's my turn to wait for you.

even if you don't come back at all.

if we were to meet again,

i'd wait for you no matter how long it takes.