y e l l o w p a i n t

drifting in and out of sanity

drawing my dreams on the walls with crayons

as if i were a child, trapped in a nightmare.

painting my insides y e l l o w as if it’d

eventually make me happy.

y e l l o w is the color of joy and a smile yet

no matter how much pain i injest,

it does not stain my insides with everlasting happiness

maybe i am not consuming enough?

they’ve locked me from the paint cabinet

and restrained me from going into my studio

yet i long to be happy no matter the means

even if it means i must die to reach the unattainable goal.

how i wish the sunflowers would rain their petals

around me and drown me in their pollen.

may the wings of the bees carry me away into the

burning y e l l o w ball that is the setting sun.

if it means i must be scorched to feel happy so be it.

and so i pray that the rain would turn to g o l d

that the tear streaks on my face would melt away

that i would truely feel y e l l o w

instead of b l u e.