My Worst Mistake

"I'm holding up, so much more than I carry."

You yelled in my face, the pink flaring in your cheeks. The tears streaked down your face, and I could see the world cave in your eyes. I opened my mouth, trying to find the right words to say. But my hesitation cost you more than you could handle. The choked down sob lodged in your throat, your tears soaked in your skin. My hand reached out to touch you, but you slapped that away. In that moment, I grew angry. I pushed back, and that was my mistake.

You shook your head, your face twisted into something I never saw before. A coldness washed over you, and you walked away. I watched with tears in my own eyes, as you stepped away and out the door.

My worst mistake was letting you go. Letting you walk out that door. I should've ran in front of you and slammed it close, forced you look me in the eyes. Now I can only see you eyes in old photographs, matched with a taut and superficial smile.

I would apologize, but apologies don't bring back the dead. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.