why I write

I write out the memories, so I wont forget

I made a promise, I don’t regret

Almost every day before you moved to baltimore

You asked me never to forget, and I promised and I swore

So when you passed away the promise took new meaning

For some time I failed because I was deeply grieving

But now I'm ready to be brave and share your story with the world

So if you read carefully, I will share the story of a girl

I miss your hand on my shoulder

You were always the one who was boulder

I wish your hand was in mine so we could face this together

You were the rock, I was the feather

You held me down to earth, and in place

I was fragile, full of grace

You were sturdy, immovable thing

That was, until you moved away from me

You kept making me promise never to forget you

It was an obsession that did not beset you

But every single time you asked, I promised on my life

And when you passed away, it twisted in the knife

Some of me wished to forget, put the promise to rest

Most of me wanted to honor you, and your last wish

I thought about cutting you name into my skin

I could never get up the nerve to plunge the knife in

People kept hugging me, or offering to talk with me 

I always politely declined, I was not ready

I found resolve in writing what I was feeling

At first it was just jumbles of anguish and grieving

But eventually I started writing out her story

The story only I can tell, in her memory

I am graduating today

And your hand should be in mine

We always planned this day together

We swore we would not cry

We always said, on the very last day of school

We would say what we really think of everyone

But now without you here

I can't do it alone

I can't speak my mind freely

That was always your specialty

You would always give me that boost of confidence I needed

We always thought we would graduate together

And after, we would have a sleepover

We always thought you would live to see this day

But i'm standing on this stage alone

Because you left this world in may

And im graduating without my best friend