badges that cover bruises
fixed on my upper arm
hiding the scars from last year.
it’s difficult to breathe right now
as if someone’s pressing on my chest
hugging me too tightly.
the air escapes my lungs at
the sight of you standing before
me as if nothing changed
as if you didn’t stab me in
the chest and then in the back
when i turned to walk away.
they said ‘walk away’ ‘be the better man’
‘take the higher road’ so i did
i tried but where did that get me
a year in pitch black darkness
surrounded by monsters that
whispered my greatest fears in the
dead of the night, their voices
chasing shivers up my spine,
through my body, and touching
my core as if it were base and
they’d be safe there. as if i would
protect them with everything i had
and hold them close, to warm them
to a burnt golden color. i wish i could
but i’m not strong enough. my
cold hands twist around their
words, icy fingers prying
the lies apart and pressing them
to my bleeding heart as if they
will stop the infinite bleeding.
yet nothing gold can stay
but not all that glitters is gold.
and as you stand there, your
fake smile plastered on a facade
you’ve been holding for too long,
i force a smile and walk towards you,
embracing you in a hug
and stab the knife into your
back, watching you bleed gold.