an optimistic guide to dating as a pessimist

i cannot simply trust you

the worst is always expected

every glance and every word

the times you move your hand away like i’m infected

a text left on read

or even on delivered for too long

and i think there it is.

i’ve lost him like forgetting the lyrics to a favorite song

this is no way to live, it’s a constant fight

but at least i can never be truly shaken

constantly restless until i’m proven wrong

but more often than not, i get to be right

somewhere in all this deep paranoia

there is a piece of me that enjoys it

because my fear of being abandoned

cannot even ignore those occasions in which

i am completely and utterly yours

and you are mine.

there is no drug quite like your reassurance.

these moments make it worth

every message i over analyze

every movement of yours i lose myself in

i never sleep, but

at least i’ve never missed a sunrise