what if i want to be lonely?

i stare into the white snow, the gray sleet and ice

the world moves along, but i stay frozen in paradise.

what if i want to be lonely instead?

what if i love the way solutitude drips down my forehead

you know head wounds always bleed too much

you know i shrink away from your touch

isn't it better alone in the cold?

where talking is poison and silence is gold?

i want to be a shade, my corporeal life passed

and i watch the people as they walk past

a ghost of solitude, reveling in silence

as i watch them, waves crash in my head, full of violence

i long for the touch i once scorned.

would i still be here if i had been warned?

why didn't anyone tell me how crushing it is?

why did i ever think i wanted this?

i no longer want to be lonely

if only i'd known, if only...