humdrum

I test my ceramic mug with my hand to see if my tea has cooled down enough for me to drink. Nope, too hot. I decided on ginger tea tonight. Maybe the spices will awaken something in me, help bring my motivation out of its apathetic slumber. Having tea requires planning, though, and sometimes it’s more planning than I care to deal with. You have to wait for the water to boil, wait for the teabag to brew, wait for the tea to cool down enough to drink, but maybe there’s a lesson there. Maybe it’s meant to slow me down, to teach me patience before enjoyment. I may be wrong, but I think the ancient art of brewing tea is supposed to be a peaceful practice of reverance. Perhaps I've been doing it wrong all these years! I read the teabag and it says, “The mind is energy: regulate it.” I chuckle and think, "if only I could." I haven't felt much energy in my mind lately, or rather, anywhere in my body. I have recently moved back to my hometown where I experienced a lot of hurt and trauma. It feels like my brain is trying to protect itself from old memories by going into a power-saving mode. Lately, I've been incapable of producing meaningful thoughts or anything of substance because I feel too numb. So yeah, thanks teabag, but I don’t feel like it’s that simple for me right now.