lidded eyes and
tendrils of exhaust
how did my hand end up
on top of yours, because i
don't remember anymore
that's one memory, but
what's the real one?
I missed your birthday party
because I didn't want to see
We had all those plans, and
let you in, smiling like you
belonged there, among the books
and the lies i've been telling myself
I cancelled them.
I wonder how you remember it
all, or do you ever even think of me?
Would I like you to?
You must think I'm
some days I'd curl in bed with tendrils
of smoke wrapped through my hair, still
breathing in your attention like
a child, so innocent, i bet, you say to
yourself, under your breath and spiteful
or maybe it's too harsh to think you'd
be cruel and forget me selfish you've
forgotten me, haven't, would i like that?
I wonder how you remember me.
hands barely touching and that's as close
as we're ever gonna get I think I knew that
I knew that then and I pulled away I knew
The real memory is after your birthday.
Cause we never really talked at all after
that. Cause it was better for me, cause I'm
selfish only looking after myself, no niceties
found out I think too late, but I was
discovering it then that I wasn't built
for you didn't belong there, I didn't
for any of it at all, and I had to.
I had to.
We didn't talk because I had to not.
That was okay,
even if you don't remember me
because I've figured it out.