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Profile avatar image for poetri
poetri

Gothic

Let’s see ma’am now where should I start--

my sister is the sunshine of the family.

We orbit around her like drunk bees waiting for a drop of pollen or a joke, saying nothing.

I sit still and silent with clenched teeth until I’ve got bloody red gums from smiling in too many planned photographs,

I change the color of my hair like it’s in the witness protection program.

And I guess I’m all used to this sort of thing by now so I’ll tell you how

every night when my family goes to sleep I’m still up with a book on account of

I don’t wanna leave but I’m wanting to get out.

I stick my fingers in the edges and slam it shut till all we see is--

I’m sorry younger me, but what the hell is freedom? Is it something you buy in a tricolored popsicle at the fair

    or has consumerism not grabbed you by the cup size yet and asked your name and number?

    How young are we talking here?

    Yes ma’am I think I stopped growing around twelve or thirteen and my mind feels like it’s stuck there

    but the point is I’m done, done,

    now all I gotta do is wait slowly for my body to deteriorate

and fall to the ground up and down quick like a climax chart.

Yes ma’am I believe in a God not on my accord though cause I been raised in a church

and sure I seen them comedians that come in and make gentle jokes about being a Home Schooled Kid Like Me

but that ain’t exactly what I’m going for here see I think just by nature I may be a bit edgier.

Am I outrunning stereotypes yet?

(That was a joke ma’am you can laugh.)

Now how long exactly have I wanted black hair? Has it been long because nah it can’t’ve been

    do you have that in your notes, ma’am? Do you have in your notes how I can’t seem to do nothing permanent

    or that my favorite color’s red but I wear more blue? Do you have in your notes how I hold books like security blankets,

    how my mom and dad are real successful and my brother he’s good at math and I’m just not no matter how hard I work? 

    You been writing down that I’m sad? Or why? What you put down there in your notes, is it my favorite art or poems

    is it terror dreams is it the recurring one about baby Rosemary crashing out of my arms like a fish flopping for life on the art class floor

    cause my arms ain’t strong enough to hold up an act anymore?

Things are crashing, ma’am, they crashing real hard.

Planets are coming out of alignment but Pluto here’s just a stubborn one, huh?

And she don’t want to revolve around the sun no more, huh?

And it’s been about an hour so I should probably take a sucker and get the hell out so you can see the next messed up kid, huh?

But when my family’s all sleep y’all think about me still up reading.

I’ll stick my fingers in the edges of the pages and slam em real tight.

Now all you can see is the red.

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poetri 
don't be concerned i'm fine it was just a moment i had today. @joella @eritiserint @Wisp @Dmoral @spurtsofdark @lunarmood @rlove327 @Samina @tearise @sunnyv @Mnezz @sohi @saudade @nor @anha @mnemosynink @junlei @elliem @inanutshell @sybilluv @sakurarose @spectral @hera @astaa @crow_e @purplepanache @pravartika @mxpineapples
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Mnezz 
ouch >_< the bee part’s quite creative :o *snaps* captivating write @poetri ‘We orbit around her like drunk bees waiting for a drop of pollen or a joke, saying nothing. ‘‘Am I outrunning stereotypes yet?/ (That was a joke ma’am you can laugh.)/ Now how long exactly have I wanted black hair? Has it been long because nah it can’t’ve been/ do you have that in your notes, ma’am? Do you have in your notes how I can’t seem to do nothing permanent/ or that my favorite color’s red but I wear more blue? Do you have in your notes how I hold books like security blankets,/ how my mom and dad are real successful and my brother he’s good at math and I’m just not no matter how hard I work?/ You been writing down that I’m sad? Or why? What you put down there in your notes, is it my favorite art or poems/ is it terror dreams is it the recurring one about baby Rosemary crashing out of my arms like a fish flopping for life on the art class floor/ cause my arms ain’t strong enough to hold up an act anymore?/ Things are crashing, ma’am, they crashing real hard./ Planets are coming out of alignment but Pluto here’s just a stubborn one, huh?/ And she don’t want to revolve around the sun no more, huh?/ And it’s been about an hour so I should probably take a sucker and get the hell out so you can see the next messed up kid./ But when my family’s all sleep y’all think about me still up reading./ I’ll sick my fingers in the edges of the pages and slam em real tight./ Now all you can see is the red.’’
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querencia 
holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshittttt THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. I... I'm speechless. Can't wait to read more by you. I want to print this one and frame it <3
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Wisp 
"is it terror dreams is it the recurring one about baby Rosemary crashing out of my arms like a fish flopping for life on the art class floor cause my arms ain’t strong enough to hold up an act anymore?" Um excuse me--this is beautiful oh my gosh. It's just so raw and real and not that over-fluttery stuff (not that it's bad at all) that tries to describe what depression is. This is pain, this is what it is. And you capture that feeling so well in this piece it's just indescribable. Completely blown away. Gorgeous piece and I hope you're dong alright. I know you said it was just a moment you had, but I hope you're doing okay. Send me a chat if you ever want to vent/just talk.
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TeaRise 
This piece is fantastic. Like you are truly a master of words. And this hit me too because I hate therapist/psychologists whatever you want them to be called...they never helped me help myself in fact they actually made things worse by pointing out flaws, acting like I was stupid, and pushing down my problems whe I was having trouble acknowledging them myself. Needed this piece<3 thank you, luv. Ever wanna talk let me know I’ll shoot you my personal contact;)
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Suncent 
wow. i dont have many words for this. one of the most heartfelt, beautiful things i have read.
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sakurarose 
this is incredible! i love the tone and style, it sends the message through incredibly and it just comes through so so well! i am always in awe of the sheer personality that shines through your writing :D
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HandsOfFire 
i don't know what to say, but I agree with all the comments above mine... this piece is beautiful--the style, the words, everything. thank you for sharing this <3
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rlove327 
Impressive writing, @poetri.
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Plexiglassfruit 
this is excellent
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WhiteWolfe32 
11/10... wait no 12/10... wait no... 100000000000/10 :)
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tonypatti 
I'm going to have to read this one again! Dense!
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