if only we stayed amaranthine
Lila, my dear, I fear that I am in grave danger.
During my last visit to our tree in the crepuscular hours, I had come across my father. The moment I saw him, this indescribable fear took over me. Our eyes had met, and I know that he had seen through my disguise of James. It is no longer safe to be here.
I have never told a soul my dear, not even you, but the time has come for me to tell you of my last night at home. Before I was defenestrated, I had overheard my father talk of marrying me off to a goetic man. The thought of it shakes me to the core, my dear. The goetic men are infamous for their use of black magic and voracity when it comes to power. They will do anything, even if it means sacrificing their own flesh and blood. To think that my father would do such a thing, it leaves me speechless at his skulduggery.
Once they had rid of me, I made the mistake of glancing back. In the window of my father’s study, I saw a strange man staring at me. I can only assume that he was my would-be goetic husband. When our eyes met, he grinned. My dear, his eyes reminded me of such crackling gleed. To this day, I can still not forget his smile of such toska.
I fear my father will take me away from this new life I have made, take me away from the future I have worked for the two of us. He is not one to act rashly, and it is only a matter of time before he finds me--and if he doesn’t, I fear there will be a far worse outcome.
You’ve always been my heimat, and for that very reason, I cannot come to you. I wish that I could hold you once more, wipe the stray tears from your eyes, and whisper sweet nothings to you--but to put you in harm’s way, I do not know if I would be able to live with myself if that were to occur. You know that my sarang for you will never fade, you know that I would do anything in my power to keep you safe. So I ask you dear, trust me once more. Let me keep you safe.
Once again, I find myself with a sense of drapetomania and once again I will mizzle. I am sorry that I have absquatulated, but dearest, do not think for a moment that I will not return. I will find another way for my letters to be delivered to you and we will have that future. Just wait for me.
I love you Lila.
And I’m sorry.